I sometimes think I should give Robin Karr joint custody of my blog (if joint custody really worked–ha!–a little dark, iffy divorce humor there). But since my blog requires scant monetary upkeep, can look after itself, and with her dedication to the excellent Hysterectomy Consequences, Robin is probably content with the informal and completely unrequested liberal visitation arrangement she already has.
Though these revelations and sharings are excruciatingly painful for her, Robin’s insights and experiences touch everybody. Whenever I post anything about her, my site views skyrocket–not because I have any particularly clever spin or insights of my own, I suspect, but because her experiences, her responses, and generosity in sharing even the worst of them, take the pulse of our entire community of people who are wronged and left destitute because of laws and systems that not only don’t work for us, but destroy us and all we hold dear.
Robin’s poem, below, came to her after reading this quote from a Huffington Post Father’s Day post regarding losing a child through death:
“In parenting there is no clear victory, but as long as you’re fully invested in your children and trying your best, you will be at peace with yourself no matter how long–or short–your children are in this world.”–Mike Spohr
“I couldn’t help but think about how this is so not true when you lose a child ‘through life’ though,” Robin says. “That’s what I’ve started telling people about the loss of Matthew and Laura. I lost them not through death, but through life. My children are alive. They are living, breathing and growing up daily. They just aren’t living, breathing and growing up daily with me – their own mother who carried them and risked my own life to bring them into not just ‘the world’, but ‘MY world’.
For Mothers of ‘Lost ‘ Children
by Robin Karr